When a loved one passes away, deciding what to do with their personal belongings can feel overwhelming. Each item may carry memories, emotions, and significance, making it difficult to determine what to keep, donate, discard, or sell. The process requires patience, sensitivity, and sometimes, a bit of help from others, including addressing the legal side to ensure everything is handled properly. While there’s no single way to approach this, the guide below may help you navigate this difficult task.

Keeping what matters.

You might come across things that feel too important to let go of such as a favorite piece of jewelry, a handwritten note, or a well-loved book. These are the pieces that remind you of your loved one, and it’s okay to keep them close if that feels right. You don’t have to keep everything—just the pieces that really mean something special to you.

It can also be meaningful to share some of these items with others who were close to them. That way, the memories can live on in different homes.

Donating, if that feels right.

Some people find comfort in donating their loved one’s belongings to a cause they cared about. This could mean giving clothes to a local shelter or donating books to a library. If this idea resonates with you, it can be a meaningful way to help others while honoring your loved one’s memory.

While letting go can be hard, the impact these items have on others might bring you comfort in return, especially if that aligns with what your loved one would have wanted.

Letting go of what you don’t need.

Not everything will be worth keeping or donating. Some items might be too worn, outdated, or simply not functional anymore like old magazines or broken appliances. Consider recycling or repurposing where possible to stay environmentally conscious. Doing so can help you feel that even in letting go, you’re acting in alignment with values that may have mattered to your loved one.

Making practical decisions.

Sometimes, selling valuable items like antiques, jewelry, artwork, or collectibles can be the practical choice. Whether it’s to meet financial needs  or simply because it’s what your loved one wanted, it’s important to take your time. Online platforms like eBay or specialty auction sites are often the best places to begin when researching prices. You might also want to consult with estate sale companies, professional appraisers, or art consultants to ensure you get a fair price.

It's okay to feel conflicted about selling something meaningful. It might feel like closing a chapter, but it can also be a way to support your own future, which is something your loved one would likely want for you.

There are also other important things to consider when making a decision.

Going through someone’s belongings can sometimes lead to disagreements, especially when emotions are high. If everyone’s attached to the same items, like a family heirloom or a cherished piece of furniture, it can get tricky. Talking it out and trying to find a solution that works for everyone might help. The main thing is to keep the focus on your relationships, which matter more than any item.

If things get too tense, it might be helpful to bring in someone neutral to help mediate, such as a family counselor or a professional mediator. In some cases, consulting with an attorney who specializes in estate law may also be necessary to ensure that everyone’s rights and wishes are respected. This can help prevent conflicts from escalating and ensure a fair resolution for all involved.

This process can be emotionally exhausting, so it’s important to take your time. But along with the emotional challenges, there’s also a legal side that shouldn’t be overlooked. If your loved one left a will, it’s essential to follow their instructions carefully. Without a will, things can get more complicated, as state laws might determine how the belongings are divided.

Getting legal advice can really help during this time. A lawyer can guide you through everything, making sure things are done the right way and helping to avoid any misunderstandings or conflicts down the road. Whether you’re figuring out a will or sorting out any disagreements, having a legal expert on your side can bring you and your family some peace of mind. It’s also important to remember that this process can be tough for everyone involved. Keeping communication open and making decisions that honor your loved one’s wishes while respecting your relationships can help everyone navigate this difficult time.